Mom said you got into an argument with some man in the parking lot. Yeah he almost hit your mother in the lot. So I yelled out to him: SLOW DOWN your truck is so big and loud I’m pretty sure my chihuahua has a bigger dick than you! He didn’t like it much, — […]
Posts Tagged ‘phone’
happy halloween dad you dressing up nah im way too old to be answering the door in a cockring costume! what a bad autocorrect yikes dad big difference
What’s 1+1? 2 WTF you asked me that for? Because I know you’re cheating on me, you obviously don’t know how to count. Anyways, I’m done Aww damn, damn damn
ohmigawd mom you are the best mother ever! =p dont do emiticons just stick to the panckaes
Wanna see a magic trick? Sure, babe(: POOF. You’re single.
Why haven’t you been calling or texting me? Oh, I broke up with you 2 weeks ago… sorry I’m just now telling you WOW!… Just wow, I can’t believe you
Happy 6th month anniversary 🙂 Thanks but havent we only been going out for 2 months? Oh sorry, wrong person. That’s okay sweetie. WAIT WHAT!?!?
For christs sake, stop leaving the bloody tampon!!!! What?? WHERE?! Lmfao. The bloody lamp on, in the bathroom. Not the tampon. Laughing so hard. Can not breathe. Ohhhh my godddd. I was like WTF? I have my period so I was totally mortified. Lmao
Did you guys eat dinner yet? Yep. Just had pasta. Oh by the way, I laid the babysitter. Uh, excuse me? You fucking what????? Hahaha PAID. I paid her. Sorry to give you a heart attack babe. I hate you! lol
Text massage anyone? 😉
Chacha wants the 3some! Hahhahaha.
question. Sure what’s up? Have you ever fondled yourself? Uhh… googled not fondled! oh crap. that just made me look like the biggest perv Yes I have and yes it did! LOL