Call/text me when you’re on your way. Potassium WTF? Auotcorrect get ya? Nope on the periodic table, the symbol for potassium is K. OMG you are such a nerd!
Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
It’s a whale How do you have friends? Baby whale
Be home soon. Do you want anything from whore foods? If you’re at whore foods I’ll take something tall and blonde. But if you’re at whole foods I’ll take some peanut butter.
Hey babe… You were amazing last night. you have a very talented pair of lips. this is abby’s dad. AMAZING AT KAREOKE! WOW SHE SURE CAN SING! You GOT A TALTENTED GIRL MR. GILLIAN I know, shes just an amazing singer I think she’s got real potential. I think it’s great you agree!
Dude let’s rob a bank *Smilies and icons* So that’s a no then?
How could you? I trusted you and you cheated on me!! Oh sorry dad, that was meant for Jim Oh. On a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun anywhere?
what does idk, ly, and TTYL mean? I dont know, love you, talk to you later. Ok I will ask your sister
Mom said you got into an argument with some man in the parking lot. Yeah he almost hit your mother in the lot. So I yelled out to him: SLOW DOWN your truck is so big and loud I’m pretty sure my chihuahua has a bigger dick than you! He didn’t like it much, — […]
I look forward to the day when I’m not blowing minors everyday Uhhh blowing minors? My nose!! Omg! Lmao! I’m sick 🙁
Then I’m going to lick your ass out tonight wat….. i’m being serious uhm that is disgusting ok sorry I meant lock not lick ugh
I meant hug! haha im giving no one HIV good to know
happy halloween dad you dressing up nah im way too old to be answering the door in a cockring costume! what a bad autocorrect yikes dad big difference